Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
