and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
It's blow job season.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
