I wanna passion pit in your ass
well you can't waste a boner
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Randomize
