all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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