I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
