So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
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i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
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Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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