I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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