32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
