Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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