They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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