as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
my poor anus
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
