I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
