who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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