In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Randomize
