is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
