i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
