So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
