Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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