did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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