Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
