just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
