So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
