and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Randomize
