I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
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