Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
