Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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