I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
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