Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
