i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
