We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
