At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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