We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
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