she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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