I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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