between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
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