I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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