i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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