That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Randomize