Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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