Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
