Princesses don't give blow jobs
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
