So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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