piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize
