I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
