Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
