I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
did i just pee glitter
Randomize
