awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
