So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
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