Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
