I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.