Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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