i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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