he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
