Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
