Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
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