you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
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