Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Also, beer. Big fan.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Randomize
