would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
