don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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