I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
