She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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