She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Randomize
