i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Randomize