Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
