I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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