No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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