im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize