return my video game
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I have fence marks all over my body
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
